Dear God,

              I am writing this letter to thank you for everything you have done to me all my life. These words are straight from my heart...

        Thank you for creating me in this world. Thank you for giving me all the desires of my heart. Thank you for giving me comforts in life. Thank you for giving me my parents and relatives.

       Thank you for creating friendship and love in this world. Thank you for giving me inner peace and good health. Thank you for giving me a good education and a good job.

         You have known me even before I was born. You have chosen me in my mother's womb and you have predestined my future. You made me walk, you made me talk, you made me smile, you made me cry, you made me love. You made me what I am today.

        You guided me in my path.  You have always been the lamp to my feet and the light to my path.

        You have forgiven all my trespasses. You have erased my wrongs and corrected them. You have been watching over me from the time I was born.

         Everytime   I was down, you were there for me . when I was falling, you were there to catch me. When I stumbled, you were there to lift me up. When I cried, you were there to wipe my tears. When I was sad, you were there to make me cheerful.

         You have loved me as your daughter and will continue to love me till eternity. 

        I love you too dear god...words cant express how I love you. actions cant express how I love you. I know I dont spend much time for you in my life.I am not very religious. Sometimes I miss my prayers. Sometimes I miss reading the holy scripture. Sometimes I forget to thank you.

       But..the truth is my love for you is true and the only reason I am what I am today is because of your love. I will always continue to love you till my last breath.

      If you happen to read this letter, I would like to tell you that I love you with all my heart and love you more than anyone or anything in this world.

      With love,

     Your loving daughter,

      Mary  

        Today our college students had their III Internal assessment test. The 1st years had Biochemistry test and the II years had a test on Oral histology and Tooth morphology.

       I was posted as an invigilator. This is the second time in my tutorship that I am given this duty. It is a very great experience. My duty today..is simple...I just had to keep my eyes open and watch out for any class room felonies ( yeah..thats how I prefer to call anyone who misbehaves in the exam hall .)

      I walked up and down the hall for 3 hours. It was a bit tiresome but I liked it.  I cant explain why. But I always have an affinity to classrooms, students, paper, pen, pencil , questions, answers ( as long as.... I am not the student...lol ) To be more frank, I like to spend more time with students rather than with patients. I dont know if that attitude is correct, as I am a doctor...but still thats how I feel.

     The test went on uneventfully without any mishaps. I saw many kinds of students. There were the early birds...who finished writing about one hour ahead of the scheduled time. Then there were the average ones who finished their test on time. And then there were the thinkers, or geniuses who asked for additional sheets at the last five minutes of the test.

     Almost every minute I was thinking of how I used to write my exams in my UG days. The same last minute preparation, borrowing eraser and pencil from the student sitting next to you, having a blank face in the examination hall ,racking our brains over a strange question..everything...just seemed like an encounter with my past.

      I have also suffered a lot during my exams in my UG days..( pre exam and post exam stress...to be precise.)  I have never ever.. in my wildest dreams....thought that one day, I will be supervising the students in an examination hall..

     You know what they say... Every dog has its day.

    Life isnt fair sometimes. We always like to be the nice person, the kind of person who has a smile always, who just waves when someone they know approach, the totally Miss. nice..or atleast  thats how i prefer to be.

   But it doesnt turn out that way always. I know some persons who after a slight misunderstanding, always give the cold look. It just feels horrible to have such persons around me. Its been highly impossible for me to get compromised with them. How can you explain what you have done to a person if they are not ready to hear your explanations?

   In my case, its like a friend turned foe thing. I just shudder to think how such a thing could have happened..and btw its my mistake..entirely. but the other person is not ready to accept my apology. A tension develops whenever we see each other and it is very awkward..whenever we see each other we give 'the devil may care ' look... i hate to behave in such a way..but once I tried to smile on seeing that person only to see him turning his head down as if he doesnt notice. Now that is very irritating. So thats how we started to exchange cold looks.

   I just hope this attitude fades away in time and everything returns to normal..well atleast close to normal.

   But if god just comes to me and asks for a wish.. I just want to go back in time and erase the mistake I have done that has jeopardized my friendship. But..I know...I can only dream about such a wish.

  Now back to reality.....life isnt fair sometimes..

         Teaching has always been my passion and ever since my UG days, I have been aspiring to teach students.Now, as a part of my job, I have the chance to test my teaching skills. I am teaching "tooth morphology"  for the 1st year BDS students.

       Today its my third lecture. I have been preparing for it since last week. Hard work really pays and by god's grace I took the class well. Atleast the students understood what I was telling them. I asked questions at the end of the class and they were able to answer the questions well. I chose the students randomly and most of them were able to answer correctly.

    Its been just a while ago, when I , as a student was seated among the crowd, listening to lectures by senior professors. Now time has flown by...I am getting old, college days have gone..and now I am standing in front of another group of students, giving a lecture. Phew..

    My next lecture is a month away and I will be preparing for it in a few days and meanwhile... I'll continue with my resolutions, household chores, reading.. etc......lol 

  I finally found time to write something. Seems like all the time in this world has disappeared into a black hole. Recently I got a forwarded sms which said " A busy person is one who finds time for everything he needs to do. " a simple sentence. But it really inspired me. I thought " why cant I be busy too ?"

I analysed which things took most of my time. And I realised that it was television. And i also dont bother to do the household chores. My mom does the cooking and laundry and I just sat there becoming nothing but a movie freak.

In my work place too, sometimes things used to get gloomy and boring. And sometimes I used to think " Am I living the right life ?" " Am I at the right place?" " Is this how My life is intended to be?" Sometimes taking responsibilities for our actions can be risky but we have to do what we should do.

  It is at these times that the spirit of god boosts me and makes me go in the right path. It is after such a boost that I am typing this blog, about my resolutions.

   I have vowed to limit my TV hours and decided to indulge myself in constructive activities like reading, cooking, exercise, doing the laundry etc. I have also decided to give my best to my work and enjoy every moment of it. I thank god for instilling this self realisation in my mind.

   So let me stop talking and start doing :D

    Phew..I finally did it after waiting for 3 months..since my graduation.

I got my first job as a tutor at Chettinad Dental College and Hospitals,Chennai.

It was an important part of my life and my first step in my career..as a dentist.I still have a long way to go..but yet I have taken the first step with god's grace and confidence.

I always cherish the quote..

   " Find a job you love and you never have to work a day in your life."

  Ever since I came across this quote..it became my aim,my desire,my ambition,my dream...to get the job I love.

I have been praying ever since to god that I should find such a job...I should enjoy every second of my job and that i should be sincere in my work..

God is gracious indeed and he has heard my request. I am enjoying everything about my job...after a long time..I had a hard day's work ..I got really tired and slept like a log..I havent got tired in months..yeah..i usually sleep at about 1:00 am ..and I would do that just because I had to.. and not because i was tired..

The tiredness i felt was really great..and when i relaxed it was like heaven..

I thank the Almighty, my parents and my teachers for making me get to this point in my life.....

Peace..

  Today I had been very nervous since morning....the reason...its my job interview today. I have applied for it long back.. but today I was supposed to attend the Interview. I was really tensed about my first rendezvous with the officials...the board room..the formal etiquette...expressions...impressions...the list is endless.

  I can feel the air of nervousness all around me. The pressure on me was overwhelming. Its just obvious what the situation is demanding from me. I had to be in the best of my behavior. My attitude should be good. Every word that comes out of my mouth should be relevant and sensible.

  Well..the situation is even more tense as this is my first interview. If we do something for the first time, we feel that it should go on perfect. Its really one of the few sentiments I have in my life. I do believe that a work well begun is half done. So....this desire for the new beginning to be a success..is foremost in my mind.

  Just think...the right words...the right talk,the right mannerisms can really impress the officials,... will get me the job...and the rest would be history. And on the other hand...one wrong word, some unexpected clumsiness, one wrong gesture....could well be disastrous...and that too a disastrous beginning could be the worst thing that ever happened in my professional life.

  With this and more thoughts I waited for more than 2 hours for the interview to begin. With all my certificates with me..I was sitting there .....awaiting my future.

  At last..my turn came. I was called in. The room was not so big as I imagined. Three officials sat around a big table. I was asked to be seated. I sat down wondering what sort of questions I would be asked.

   I answered most of the questions... first about my interests, my skills, about any merits or scholarships, my expected salary...and so on. I cant say I answered them perfectly..but I can be pretty sure that I didn't mess things up. After I finished answering the last question... I stared eagerly at all the officials...waiting for a response from them.

  After a moment of silence, one of the officials spoke.."We like your commitment to the job. Keep it up."

  I was spellbound for a moment. Am I dreaming? Is this Real?, I thought. 

  It was then another member of the board spoke "We are very much impressed by your attitude. We'll let you know. You can leave now."

  "All the best for your future" the first official said....all the while smiling.

  Finding myself in a trance...I stood up..with a sheepish smile in my face.....and slowly walked out of the room. I heaved a sigh of relief that it was over.

  Outside the office...as I walked home..I felt much more confident..much more hopeful about my future. As I breathed in the fresh air...I looked up at the sky for a second and thanked god for this moment of my life. 

  It all began yesterday night.  As I was about to go to bed, suddenly mom asked me  "Just today I came to know that there were so many versions of the famous movie ' Pshyco'."

   I was a bit surprised to hear this from her as she always used to have this... non violence, non horror, Tom and Jerry lover type persona.

   Mmmm....I wonder what made her think of this, I thought. 

  "Yeah mom. You are right."

  "Ok. Long back I saw a movie where a psychopath stabs people as they walk on the street...well..I dont remember the name of that movie though...." 

  "Is it Nightmare on Elm Street? " I interrupted.

  "No..not that one." mom said.

  Still very much surprised to hear this from my mom...I asked her "But mom..why are you asking this all of a sudden? Why all this talk on horror movies? "

  Mom looked at me for a while and then she said "Mary, tomorrow is 13th June."

  "Of course it is mom...what about it anyway?" 

  "Its Friday tomorrow. 13th Friday."

  Oh my God.It is. Friday the 13th, I thought. A Chill ran down my spine. Tomorrow I am actually going to live the legendary Friday the 13th day. Will I be alive at the end of the day? I chuckled.

  I didnt say much after that. I thought for a while and muttered out "Yes mom. It is Friday the 13th tomorrow."

  We didnt discuss it anymore. As I lay awake in bed....Is the day really so unlucky as people say it is?....Is the urban legend true after all?, I thought. A little later I dozed off. 

  When I opened my eyes, I saw my mom waking me up. Thank God ...I am still alive, I thought.I checked the date in my mobile. 13th June. I checked the calendar..its Friday.....so its true indeed,I thought. A few hours later I went online and searched for all info regarding 'Friday the 13th'. I came across many things, but the most striking one was below:

  Paraskevidekatriaphobics — people afflicted with a morbid, irrational fear of Friday the 13th.

  What the Hell was that word? How should I pronounce it?, I thought. I read the word twice and then I read it again. Paras/kevi/deka/tria/phobics. I got one word correct...phobics. Now that has got something to do with fear, I thought.

 Who could have coined such a stupid, complex, unpronouncable, creepy word? Well...whatever it maybe...this......Paraskevidekatriaphobia..thing... or in simple words....fear of Friday the 13th has sure got a good grip on me...and who knows maybe on someone else too, I thought and then.....So it happens that...On this legendary day....Friday the 13th...here I am...alive and kicking (thankfully..lol) typing this blog....and ironically still thinking of Jason and his mask.....

    Today is an important day in my life. No.its not my birthday. Its not my wedding day. Its not my graduation day either. Well...Today ....I got highlights for my hair..for the first time...lol.

  Getting my hair coloured had long been my dream since the time I entered college. It took me so long to convince my parents for getting highlights for my hair. The final spark came when I watched Jean Grey sporting flame red hair in the movie 'X Men- The Last Stand' And the desire was rekindled when I watched Priyanka Chopra in the movie ' Love Story 2050'.

   It didnt take me anything more to get inspired. So I decided to give it a try.

  At the Salon, I spent really 40 minutes to select the proper shade. My first 2 choices were out of stock. So finally I got lucky the third time. Then I sat there witnessing the ritual done on me. Finally ,it was over and I looked into the mirror...wondering if this was a success or a pathetic failure. Thankfully I was happy with the results. Really I felt so happy.

The Aftermath:

      Now I find myself staring into the mirror more often...always aligning the streaks so that it would look good ..all the while humming the song..Oops I did it again.....

  Its My Best Friend's Wedding. No. I am not talking about the movie. Its really my Best friend Akila's wedding. Yippeeee!!!!

  Well..Akila had been my best friend for the past 14 years. She had been there always in my happy and sad moments. Its really strange how time flies so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was talking with her in my classroom. And now there she is standing as a beautiful bride on the stage...ready to enter into wedlock.

  The wedding was splendid. I was with her till the end of the ceremony. Just before leaving the wedding hall......tears welled in my eyes and I said this to the bridegroom......" Just take good care of her."

  The ways of life are rather strange. Here is a person who is not related to me in any way. But this magic called friendship just plants so many unexplainable emotions within us...that mysteriously bonds us to our friends and loved ones.I wish Akila a happy married life. May God bless her and her family abundantly. 

   With this thought I stepped into my car and headed  home.

   If there was one thing that is definitely overrated, it is MTV Splitsvilla. There was so much hype with all that. After MTV Roadies 5.0, this reality show is the news on MTV. All this countdown to the first episode kindled my interest and naturally I saw the curtain raiser.

The Tagline... 20 girls. 2 guys. Anything may happen. Well.. first i didn't pay much attention to this so called tagline. I like the word Villa..and the word Splitsvilla sounded interesting to me.

Mmmm. not for long. When the curtain raiser was over..I felt awful. I feel the whole idea sucks.

I mean just look at this. 20 girls fighting for 2 boys..that too on screen. Now is our society so pathetic that of all places on earth  a girl should find a good guy on a reality show? Does that mean..good guys are so scarce that you have to hit the television show and put over cat fights with 19 other competitors to get the guy you want? Guys...wats all this? Dont you think this is too far fetched? Dont you think people around us are far more better than the people on the show. And Girls...dont u think there are far better responsibilities in life than fighting for some unknown guy? Where has the reputation gone?

And whats all this for? Fame? or what..true love? Would you even call that as love...and guess what they are advertising it as the Most Romantic Show.. do they ever know the meaning of that?

These 20 girls fighting over 2 guys things may sound funny. But has humor gone to such a low level? And wats more..people are provoked to watch it.

I just thought of one thing after watching that show. We need'nt search the whole earth for true love. So Just look around you closely.The sweetness you are looking for is much closer than you think.  

   Sometimes in life, good things happen and sometimes they don't. And it is just as unpredictable as the human nature.

When is the last time you experienced a sense of sadness, void, emptiness... fear of being left out...fear of standing alone, unexplainable trance....the list is endless. I have sure experienced it many times in my life. And the cause for such a travesty ...well it can be anything and sometimes it can be nothing.

And when is the last time you felt ...being loved..being taken care of...being trusted..being appreciated..being listened to.... and again the list is endless. And the cause...the same again...anything and sometimes nothing.

  But  'Anything and Nothing' mean more than that...they are simple things....things which may seem insignificant...but...think again...Simple things. Yeah its the simple things in life that turn us all around...that keeps us going, and create what we call our 'day'..be it at home or in the work place.

  A simple smile, a kind word, a friendly 'hi' ...now that sure does make our day better. Don't you think so? However bad our times would be.. all the above simple gestures do make a big difference.

  And on the other hand rude words, temper tantrums of our superiors,the scorching stare of our principal , senseless words,careless remarks....do really make us think of the song 'Who let the dogs out? woof woof'.... and  the thing is  they can really make our day from bad to worse.

  Isn't it true that the ways of life are rather strange? One moment we are happy..we are flying..we are on top of the world..we feel that we love our life, and everything about it.  But sometimes...we think that life sucks...life is not fair...why am I tested by god?... Why is this happening to me?...

  If you watch it closely it can be seen that it is really a Circle...like a wheel..rotating alternately with phases of happiness and bad times. And now...can a vehicle move without the wheels? Definitely not. So the wheels really are the ones that keep us on the move.

  This Big, Mysterious, Simple yet Complicated Circle called 'Life' is all we have got.

   And if we do want a smooth ride...we can take the good road. By changing the 'Simple Things' for the better.

The next time you meet someone you know..remember the politeness and etiquette.

Who knows? You may not realize it. But your words will make that person's day a lot better.

It was a warm evening. The TV is on...

   A woman on screen sings..." The good girl hair..... the school girl hair....the boycut hair..or should I say..the Oh boy hair..."

"Oh my wow!!! Just look at that hair. I haven't seen such a beautiful ad ever." exclaimed Nina.

"Oh! Not that Dove ad again. Those people really know how to lure people into buying their products. But I do agree yeah.. that hair is gorgeous." sighs Mrs.Susan.

Still mesmerized by the ad, Nina just runs her fingers through the loose end of her neat plaited hair. "Mom...look at my hair. And just touch it. It is so brittle and dry. "

"But...whats wrong with your hair? You have really thick tresses."

"Thick...maybe. But horrible... horrible curly hair."

"Horrible? Did you say horrible? And when did curly hair become horrible to you? And what do you say about women who get their hairs curled? And the money they spend to get it done? Isnt that proof that people love curly locks?"

"Hmmp..well..what do you say about all those girls who get their hair straightened? Cant you see? Hair ironing, Hair straightening, Rebonding...these are the ones that are in great demand in Beauty salons..."

"Yes..yes..dear..but they wont last long. And they need maintenance. And most of all it is unhealthy and it weakens the hair."

"But..cant I just try it out once? Just once? What if it really works out for..."

"No.And I mean it."

"Well atleast can I colour my hair? Mmmm...lets me think... Dark brown or maybe Burgundy...What do you say mom?" Nina started dreaming again. Her dream was suddenly interrupted by a quirky sound.

"Hey..whats the big discussion here? About a makeover or what? Ha Ha..." Its Nina's brother Sam.

"Nina wants to colour her hair and we were talking about that."

"Mom...did you say colouring ?  That too for Nina's hair?  Hey believe me. Coloured curly hair really looks like a wig. It wont look good."

"What...how? Thats it...Dont you dare mock me again. Wait till I get my hands on you. Hey stop...stop running." Nina was now running behind Sam.

"Ha.ha.Try to catch me first ....Just chill sis.."

Mrs.Susan stood alone in the living room. She stared at the TV. The ad was over and a reality show had begun. She sat on the sofa and switched off the TV.

Why do people dont like what they have? And why is that they like something they dont have? Beauty is everywhere. Beauty is how we perceive and interpret.

Straight hair..curly hair its all in our genes. If we start accepting ourselves as we are...we will have one happy peaceful life. When will people realize it? 

Mrs.Susan wondered staring at the dark black screen in front of her.

As I was writing a mail to my friend...I suddenly found myself speaking about something I have never thought about in my wildest dreams.

Anyway I felt that I can put it up in my blog.

I was talking about spirituality. About God... and not about religion.

I feel that We (the human race) are an experiment of god.. We are provided everything....and free will too. And we are allowed to live...as God watches each and every one of our actions.  

Well..and that too we are not mere test subjects...The one greatest advantage we have is God loves us.

I feel God is one great software provider.He has given us this life.. like a special software... and that too freeware.... Its up to us to use it properly.

However sometimes while we are using this software, bugs may come.... errors may come...at that time we should definitely look forward to the "Help/ user guide/support...... (that is God's answers to our prayers.)"

And sooner or later we will get the solution.

And if we dont get the solution..... we should wait.

Because...as we get older.. we are provided with newer versions. So if we cant fix the bugs.... we just have to wait.Probably a newer version of the software will be available. And we just have to wait for the update to be available.

And come what may...joy or sorrow... we should be thankful for the software. coz we have used it so long.

So my policy is continue living, continue to do what we love.. do no harm, remembering the provider of the software as often as we can and thanking him.

So...we should indeed be happy and grateful that we indeed have the software which keeps us moving on.

For a sec... just close your eyes and remember all the moments you have cherished with this software called 'Life'

And If you are smiling now... freeze that moment and treasure it for the rest of your lives.

Today I am in a really cognitive mood. And I swear to god I have never ever had such an inclination for that.

        It all began when I was watching the documentary An Inconvenient Truth by Mr. Al Gore ( ex- vice president of U.S)

       I certainly wont call it extraordinary or excellent. but it sure explained to me things I never knew, things I would never have known. It addresses the issue of Global warming and the impacts of it on humanity and nature. ( which of course  is devastating)

      It explains things with a lot of statistics. Collected over the past century. And only after seeing that I realized the consequences of man's actions, his ignorance on the side effects of his so called technological development.

       It is a 90 minute documentary. Though it explained to me a lot, and inspite of many points emphasized, the one thing that really hit me is when he pointed it out as a moral issue.

       When he stressed out that we should save our planet for our future generation, I was like...well..I do have enough of worries and responsibilities for me and my loved ones ( ones which are with me.... not ones which are to come in future)...and why would I have to worry even more about the future generations? It is pointless.

      This is what I thought. But towards the end of the film when the term Moral issue was mentioned... the message became clear. I am not very religious but I am sure I am spiritual. I used to feel guilty at the smallest of wrongs... like a simple lie. So obviously, I began to realize that I am indeed responsible for saving the earth for future generations. Well if not for the future family atleast as a thanksgiving to God.

     What is more beautiful in this life than mother nature? What could be a more beautiful place to live in other than earth? If not could I even be sitting here and typing this in my laptop? Definitely not.

   So I suddenly felt very thankful to God for giving us this Earth, Our home.Our responsibility. I should definitely return the favour. Well God is omnipotent, but I feel he doesnt interfere with this as  We have to clean our own mess.

     But can a single person make a difference? Why not? I have seen a TV ad sometime back... emphasizing the Power Of One.

     So how the hell are we supposed to combat global warming? Well... here are a few suggestions according to the documentary.

1. Use energy efficient home appliances.
2. Minimize the use of your cars.
3. Whenever possible try to walk or have a ride in your bicycle.

    Added to that , towards the end of this documentary, when the credits are displayed, these words appear too.

          Make a difference. Talk about global warming.

          Write your views to the newspaper editorials.

          Make yourself heard. 

Write to the congress ( in our country that means government). Vote for politicians who strive for this cause ...who pledge  to  fight global warming.

          If no one responds then you run for election.

          Spread your knowledge.

          And most of all .... put it into action.

          I  got the message. Have you ?

Note:   An Inconvenient Truth is often being aired on HBO. Stay tuned.

       For more details log on to www.climatecrisis.net

My laptop got sick.Yeah it got infected with virus. lol . I got the entire OS re installed again and all the softwares too. Gosh it was such a tiresome job.Anyway now everything is just fine.So time to continue my work.   And damn those nasty viruses !!!

Today, by god' grace I gave the application form for tutorship at Chettinad Dental College and Research Institute,Kelambakkam.

I was very nervous when I sat outside the Managing director's room. I waited for more than two hours. Finally I was called in. As this was my first job application ever, I was just clueless about the formalities.

I collected my guts and went inside the room. The official just looked at me and said, " Yes..go on. "  At that exact moment I froze. Finally I bluttered out something.( something relevant...thankfully) . So I finally handed over the application form and walked out of the room.

I wonder what is in store for me. The nature of my exact work, what is expected of me.... is still vague. New place. And most of all My first job.

Putting everything under god's care... I just let things happen their own way. Hope it turns out good.

Well well.... its been 4 months since i updated my blog. gosh I was so busy. Really a lot happened during this time. I finished my one month postings of internship. then the 15 days postings came . Soon they got over too.

Ah finally i made it. I completed my 365 days of internship. completed BDS. My UG days over just like that.

   Well..it just seemed like yestrerday when i joined college. I was told by my elders that i will be facing life now that I have entered college. with my mind full of unanswered questions, my heart full of doubts about my future, I stepped into college life.

Years passed by. And now seems like I am at the other end of the tunnel. I have still got a long way to go in this winding path of life. The never ending journey called life.

Can this be called yet another Brand new life? a new beginning. Maybe yes.

Just makes me say Miles to go before I sleep.... miles to go before i sleep.

Just yestrerday I downloaded the software             Vista inspirat. It makes windows xp behave and look like windows vista. It is simply awesome. The user interface is just like vista. I am still having a great time. Kudos to vista Inspirat.

    Here is a screenshot of a vista inspirat wall paper.

     You can download the software for free from  the following website,

    www.crystalxp.net 

    If you want more windows vista wallpapers  try this website,

   www.flickr.com

   Once you are inside the website, search for windows vista wallpapers using the search tool seen there. You will get loads of pictures.

Enjoy!!!

A few days ago, we had a batch party together. Its kinda farewell party. We really enjoyed a lot. to think the value of friendship....which is something truly incredible. It is one bond which is timeless... something beyond boundaries and differences. Wish this moment lasts forever.

                   Me with my friends at the party