The Road Less Travelled

Dear God,

              I am writing this letter to thank you for everything you have done to me all my life. These words are straight from my heart...

        Thank you for creating me in this world. Thank you for giving me all the desires of my heart. Thank you for giving me comforts in life. Thank you for giving me my parents and relatives.

       Thank you for creating friendship and love in this world. Thank you for giving me inner peace and good health. Thank you for giving me a good education and a good job.

         You have known me even before I was born. You have chosen me in my mother's womb and you have predestined my future. You made me walk, you made me talk, you made me smile, you made me cry, you made me love. You made me what I am today.

        You guided me in my path.  You have always been the lamp to my feet and the light to my path.

        You have forgiven all my trespasses. You have erased my wrongs and corrected them. You have been watching over me from the time I was born.

         Everytime   I was down, you were there for me . when I was falling, you were there to catch me. When I stumbled, you were there to lift me up. When I cried, you were there to wipe my tears. When I was sad, you were there to make me cheerful.

         You have loved me as your daughter and will continue to love me till eternity. 

        I love you too dear god...words cant express how I love you. actions cant express how I love you. I know I dont spend much time for you in my life.I am not very religious. Sometimes I miss my prayers. Sometimes I miss reading the holy scripture. Sometimes I forget to thank you.

       But..the truth is my love for you is true and the only reason I am what I am today is because of your love. I will always continue to love you till my last breath.

      If you happen to read this letter, I would like to tell you that I love you with all my heart and love you more than anyone or anything in this world.

      With love,

     Your loving daughter,

      Mary  

        Today our college students had their III Internal assessment test. The 1st years had Biochemistry test and the II years had a test on Oral histology and Tooth morphology.

       I was posted as an invigilator. This is the second time in my tutorship that I am given this duty. It is a very great experience. My duty today..is simple...I just had to keep my eyes open and watch out for any class room felonies ( yeah..thats how I prefer to call anyone who misbehaves in the exam hall .)

      I walked up and down the hall for 3 hours. It was a bit tiresome but I liked it.  I cant explain why. But I always have an affinity to classrooms, students, paper, pen, pencil , questions, answers ( as long as.... I am not the student...lol ) To be more frank, I like to spend more time with students rather than with patients. I dont know if that attitude is correct, as I am a doctor...but still thats how I feel.

     The test went on uneventfully without any mishaps. I saw many kinds of students. There were the early birds...who finished writing about one hour ahead of the scheduled time. Then there were the average ones who finished their test on time. And then there were the thinkers, or geniuses who asked for additional sheets at the last five minutes of the test.

     Almost every minute I was thinking of how I used to write my exams in my UG days. The same last minute preparation, borrowing eraser and pencil from the student sitting next to you, having a blank face in the examination hall ,racking our brains over a strange question..everything...just seemed like an encounter with my past.

      I have also suffered a lot during my exams in my UG days..( pre exam and post exam stress...to be precise.)  I have never ever.. in my wildest dreams....thought that one day, I will be supervising the students in an examination hall..

     You know what they say... Every dog has its day.

    Life isnt fair sometimes. We always like to be the nice person, the kind of person who has a smile always, who just waves when someone they know approach, the totally Miss. nice..or atleast  thats how i prefer to be.

   But it doesnt turn out that way always. I know some persons who after a slight misunderstanding, always give the cold look. It just feels horrible to have such persons around me. Its been highly impossible for me to get compromised with them. How can you explain what you have done to a person if they are not ready to hear your explanations?

   In my case, its like a friend turned foe thing. I just shudder to think how such a thing could have happened..and btw its my mistake..entirely. but the other person is not ready to accept my apology. A tension develops whenever we see each other and it is very awkward..whenever we see each other we give 'the devil may care ' look... i hate to behave in such a way..but once I tried to smile on seeing that person only to see him turning his head down as if he doesnt notice. Now that is very irritating. So thats how we started to exchange cold looks.

   I just hope this attitude fades away in time and everything returns to normal..well atleast close to normal.

   But if god just comes to me and asks for a wish.. I just want to go back in time and erase the mistake I have done that has jeopardized my friendship. But..I know...I can only dream about such a wish.

  Now back to reality.....life isnt fair sometimes..

         Teaching has always been my passion and ever since my UG days, I have been aspiring to teach students.Now, as a part of my job, I have the chance to test my teaching skills. I am teaching "tooth morphology"  for the 1st year BDS students.

       Today its my third lecture. I have been preparing for it since last week. Hard work really pays and by god's grace I took the class well. Atleast the students understood what I was telling them. I asked questions at the end of the class and they were able to answer the questions well. I chose the students randomly and most of them were able to answer correctly.

    Its been just a while ago, when I , as a student was seated among the crowd, listening to lectures by senior professors. Now time has flown by...I am getting old, college days have gone..and now I am standing in front of another group of students, giving a lecture. Phew..

    My next lecture is a month away and I will be preparing for it in a few days and meanwhile... I'll continue with my resolutions, household chores, reading.. etc......lol 

  I finally found time to write something. Seems like all the time in this world has disappeared into a black hole. Recently I got a forwarded sms which said " A busy person is one who finds time for everything he needs to do. " a simple sentence. But it really inspired me. I thought " why cant I be busy too ?"

I analysed which things took most of my time. And I realised that it was television. And i also dont bother to do the household chores. My mom does the cooking and laundry and I just sat there becoming nothing but a movie freak.

In my work place too, sometimes things used to get gloomy and boring. And sometimes I used to think " Am I living the right life ?" " Am I at the right place?" " Is this how My life is intended to be?" Sometimes taking responsibilities for our actions can be risky but we have to do what we should do.

  It is at these times that the spirit of god boosts me and makes me go in the right path. It is after such a boost that I am typing this blog, about my resolutions.

   I have vowed to limit my TV hours and decided to indulge myself in constructive activities like reading, cooking, exercise, doing the laundry etc. I have also decided to give my best to my work and enjoy every moment of it. I thank god for instilling this self realisation in my mind.

   So let me stop talking and start doing :D